roc bar christmas party

motorcycle update, as told to mistah jeff neumann

neumann- salaam, homey!
brundy- yes!
neumann- hows it hanging amigo? hows the bike?
brundy- well, i snapped the mirror off yesterday trying to climb this gnarly hill out in riverside, i hit 95 last week on the freeway, and ive spent more time picking it up in the dirt than i have shredding the dirt, but other than that its super ill!
neumann- holy crap…95!!! that’s sketchy man
neumann- i love your vibe
neumann- hahahaha
brundy- it didnt even feel ike 95
brundy- ive been riding bikes for 2 weeks now, im legit
brundy- i learned how to drive it when i drove it off the lot
neumann- WOW. how much did you put down?
brundy- i watched the buttons they were pushing when they were making sure everything was in proper working order, and just memorized how to make it go, then when they gave me the keys, it made sense
brundy- 5900 out the door. 99 bucks a month. zero down
brundy- they have the gnarliest financing options ever
brundy- theyre trying to give the bikes away
neumann- jesus man! were they like “what the hell?” when you bought it?
brundy- nah, i told them i was a dope rider
brundy- haha
neumann- HAHHAHAHA
brundy- then i stalled and almost fell over in front of two cops that were just chilling on the side of the road right by the bike shop when i drove off. i made a joke about the clutch always being sticky on new bikes, we had a laugh, and they didnt impiund my bike for me not having a license. or any knowledge of how to ride whatsoever
neumann- yeah man, you’re my hero!
neumann- hahahaha
neumann- i love it
brundy- haha
brundy- its so fun
neumann- it must be sick driving around cali on that thing
brundy- its dope dude
neumann- does simms have one?
brundy- i rode up to long beach on pch the other day to hang with tracy at her job, thats when we went to a shisha shoip
neumann- nice! how was it? is it outdoors?
brundy- sims got this one
brundy- http://www.dirtrodders.com/images/xr650_side.jpg
brundy- this is mine
brundy- http://www.kawasaki.com/Products/Detail.aspx?id=161
brundy- that dude bill fold got this one
brundy http://cannon-bmw.co.uk/cannon/New_Bikes/F650GS/2004%20BMW%20F650%20GS%20Dakar%20%20-%20low%20res.jpg
neumann- is your black and grey like the pic?
neumann- it looks SICK
brundy- yeah
brundy- its super dope dude
neumann- yours is the best one dude
neumann- jesus
brundy- i saw a dude riding one out in the hills and i was like AWESOME, my bike looks amazing!
brundy- haha
neumann- ahhahahahahhah
brundy- its SO dope dude
brundy- thing that sucks though, haha, is that they gave me thius stupid ass blue flaming helmet
brundy- like it actually has blue flames on it
neumann- HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
brundy- so my bike shreds, but i look like a total asshole from the neck up
neumann- airbrush a naked girl or something on it
brundy- haha
brundy- we’re gonna go full catholic symbolism for our trip so the mecis will leave us alone
brundy- virgin marys all over our stuff
brundy- maybe some praying hands
brundy- we’re keepin it real
neumann- HAHAHAHHHH
neumann- guadalupe
neumann- that rules man
brundy- yeah. we’re gonna wear rosaries too
neumann- so youre going all the way to panama?
brundy- thats the plan
brundy- may 2008
brundy- we’ve got a lot of riding to do before then
brundy- but thats what we’re looking to do
brundy- fold’s all about it
brundy- he bought like a crazy gps and stuff for his bike
brundy- haha
neumann- hahahhahahaha
neumann- central america is so sick man
brundy- yeah, with any luck i wont get kidnapped
brundy-i hear its dodgy!

berlin excerpt

One cool thing about hostels is that a lot of them, the good ones at least, have a kitchen available for all of the guests to use that is typically fully equipped with pots and pans and all of the other essentials. This hostel had a particularly well-equipped kitchen enabling the girls to attack dinner with a vengeance and put together the best bruschetta, pasta, and salad I can remember coming from somewhere other than Italy. This may be the first time that my laptops presence came in handy. The girls were talking about how badly they wished there was music in the kitchen, so I ran back to my room, grabbed my powerbook, and started a bona-fide dance party in the kitchen with the likes of everything from Frank Sinatra to Franz Ferdinand. I don’t think Apple products have made a huge impact on the Serbian personal computing scene yet, because the girls seemed completely enamored by the powerbook. Jobsy needs to get over there.
They tried putting me to use with some weird kitchen tool. All I was supposed to do was beat the hell out of some meat for them, but, as expected, I proved completely worthless in the kitchen. I was valuable as a dj though, so they let me eat dinner at the big kids table.
We set up shop at a large, table for eight in the hostel common area, and with four very attractive girls sitting with the dude from Chicago and myself, we quickly became the people that all of the other hostel lurkers were hanging around with. I was wearing a Paul Frank shirt that has a hand making the “OK” signal with text that says “You can do it.” That was a huge hit, and soon everyone was arbitrarily saying, “You can do it!” for the rest of the night. I’m actually going to hit Paul Frank up about paying me for the exposure, come to think of it.
At this point Jovanna and I hadn’t said much more than “Hi” and such to one another. I spoke to her inside of the group setting, but hadn’t actually immersed myself in a conversation with her. Three things dominated the reasoning for this. First, I’m really shy around girls that I’m attracted to. Second, every guy that was in the hostel was doing everything in his power to get Jovanna to notice him, and having been around situations of similar nature and seeing the cute girl in a group getting swarmed by a bunch of egotistical dudes, I decided to stay back and not be just one of the assholes that were relentlessly hitting on her, and third, I’m not into hooking up when I travel. I’m actually not into one-night-stands at all, especially not when I travel, so the prospect of hooking up with Jovanna, falling madly in love with her, and then never seeing her again wasn’t really at the top of my list of priorities. That doesn’t, however, mean that I could stop thinking about her.
The night ended with everyone getting wasted, except for me, with more powerbook dance party, and a relatively early retirement. I had a full day of site seeing ahead of me, so my focus was set more on getting sleep than on raging.
I got an exceptionally early start the next morning, in fact, it was still dark when I left the hostel. I hopped across the street to a sweet German bakery and got some really bad coffee and a danish. Friedrichstrausse is very navigable, so I was able to make my way to the subway very easily in the dim morning.
One of my favorite things is aimlessly meandering about and accidentally stumbling upon a site of great historical significance. After walking for a mere 30 minutes or so, I came across Brandenburg Gate which Adolph himself passed through during the war. This is one of the more memorable things from my mom’s pictures of her trip in the 60’s. Not many things stuck out to me when I saw her pictures as a child, but standing in front of this awesome piece of history immediately evoked the memory of seeing it in my mother’s pictures which leant it an additional bit of sentimentality. I remember her telling me how much she loved Berlin, and I was quickly beginning to both understand and share her affinity for the once divided city.